Christmas Wonder: Through a Child's Eyes

There's a San Damiano Cross on the east wall of our house. Beneath the cross, there's a gold plaque with the Healing Prayer of Surrender engraved upon it.

Each morning, I break away from getting the girls dressed and fed to stand in front of the cross and read that prayer. With the sun rising in a nearby window, it starts each day off on a good note no matter what problems await me.

The other morning, Fiona jumped down the stairs saying that she wanted to pray too. I pulled her up into my arms.

At 3 1/2, Fiona lives in a world of wonder waiting to be prodded by her curiosity. "What are the dots on him?" Fiona asked.

"What dots, baby?"

She pointed to one on his stomach.

"That's his belly button."

She pointed to two on his chest.

"Those are his nipples," I answered, hoping that the next question wasn't why he had nipples.

"Why doesn't Jesus have a shirt on?" Fiona asked.

"People took it from him."

The little girl nodded. Not questioning the unfairness, just acknowledging the fact. "What are those dots?" she asked, pointing to his feet.

"They're nails, honey."

Fiona pointed to his hands and asked again, "What are those dots?"

"Those are also nails, baby." I paused, struggling to find the words. "They nailed him to a cross."

Fiona stared up at the statue of a man crowned in thorns and nailed to a cross. "Why did it happen?"

I paused again. "Because he wanted us to be set free from sin, so we could live forever with him in heaven."

Fiona nodded. She didn't have anymore questions. Her process of questioning, learning, and believing was complete. Fiona didn't understand everything about the Resurrection, but she felt she knew enough to believe.

It was a powerful demonstration of a child's ability to believe in the miraculous nature of the Divine. The same kind of belief that all of us are called to (Mark:10:15 "whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.")

Christmas is approaching. I've sent out cards and bought some presents. The tree is up and I listen to the weather reports, hoping they call for snow. I juggle my calendar trying to figure out how to make as many family gatherings as possible. There are snowman cookies and little voices singing carols.

It's a lot of fun and a lot of racket, but it's easy to lose sight that all of the celebration is based upon the premise that God's son was born in the small town of Bethlehem a little over 2,000 years ago. As described by Romano Guardini in his book The Lord, "The young creature in the stall of Bethlehem was a human being with human brain and limbs and heart and soul. And it was God."

It's an amazing thing to believe. Utterly 100% miraculous. Human reason falters beneath the angel's statement, "For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord." Luke 2:11.

I know that I will never understand the physics of that amazing event. Some of the theological complexities will remain a mystery me, no matter how deeply I study or meditate upon them.

The only right answer is to follow Fiona's lead and simply believe.

Merry Christmas,
matt

*** My book, Looking For Answers Through Dirty Glasses: Finding the Divine in a Challenging World, is now available on Amazon. Please pick one up for a friend. It's a compilation of the first year of this blog. A portion of the proceeds go to fund the amazing work of the Uganda Rural Fund. ***

"The Sin of... Wanting to Be Heard"

I spent the last two months compiling Looking for Answers posts into a manuscript and then editing them to publish as a book. My initial copy of the book arrived yesterday. I showed it to a friend and she said that they couldn't believe that someone as sinful as me wrote a book on religion. It was a statement, not a judgment.

It's also the same thing I think each time I sit down at the computer to write this blog. I told her that I wrote a buyer-beware disclaimer stating that I'd racked up more than my fair share of sins in more than my fair share of sinful categories. But still, it feels strange to try and offer guidance in the face of my own flaws. I've got a particular weakness for sins of arrogance, lust, and vengeance. I've fallen into all of those traps before and almost certainly will again. I can't help but wonder what could anyone learn from someone like that.

My friend also pointed out that the very act of writing a book about humility is hypocritical. Again, she was right. Thomas Merton, one of the most prolific religious writers of the 20th century, accused himself of, "The sin... of wanting to be heard..." I know that I share that sin with Merton, though I lack his talent and prolificacy.


It's been over a year since I began this blog, but I am still not qualified to write it. I've tried not to pretend to be anyone that I am not, but I'm sure that I've failed at that. Yet, I still feel compelled to tell what I believe and why in hope that those words might help someone who is struggling.


I've asked for the Holy Spirit's help, but I don't know if my words will be able to overcome my own sins. Yet, I am heartened by the example of King David. In Psalm 51, King David gave us one of the most beautiful and lasting prayers in all of history; but he would not have been able to write it if he hadn't committed some of the darkest sins.



Psalm 51

 ¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
   according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.

 ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
   and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
   let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.

 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.